more bumper stickers we need to see...

dude, how long have you been back there

four-letter word of the day, vote

sorry officer my kangaroo distracted me

i like hummers, they're bigger targets

we need a burning bush of our own

my god and can out-smite your god

my kid's on the honor roll, he's sure to make parole now

if i ram you off the road, i promise not to damage the turn signal that's blinked for that last 20 minutes

it was better when russia, not freedom, was our enemy

garlic, it's not just for breakfast anymore

laps

I was on my 27th 50 meter lap when someone attached an anchor to my leg. I couldn't see who it was, I couldn't even see the anchor, but I felt it sure enough. I was swimming along just fine and suddenly my forward motion slowed to a near-crawl. Snails were swimming past me and laughing. A two-toed sloth backstroked away, mocking me with his crooked grin.

OK, OK, maybe it wasn't an anchor, maybe it was just my age catching up with me. Maybe it was my lack of solid sleep the night before that did me in. Maybe it was my diet. Maybe I'm just not a good swimmer.

Or maybe I was just weighted down with the thoughts of an animal kingdom struggling for survival, of a country led by a baboon's ass and of the size of the national debt. That would weigh on anyone (and markedly slow them down while swimming).

Next time I'm in the pool I'm thinking light thoughts, really light. Like, "Is Jessica Simpson related to Homer?"* That should speed things up.

* (the Greek poet, not the cartoon.)

the weekly photo

From Boho island in British Columbia.

bumper stickers we need to see...

Barack Obama for President!

God loves you, but hates your SUV

My therapist can out-bill your therapist

George Bush and Michael Jackson. Coincidence??

Beer, the anti-body for talk radio

It's not road-kill, it's a coaster

union labor works harde...

If you can read this, you're too close to see my finger

Watch for bikes please!

reading and freedom...

Don't take it for granted.
Read 1984, Animal Farm, Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, We.

Then take a deep breath look at how close we've come to becoming the things we once fought against. It's not too late, but it is late. So read and be free...

vast right-wing conspiracy (of idiots!)

Wanting to not just stumble through my day, but to stumble through it in an informed manner, I woke up and brought CNN up on the web. Not unexpectedly the lead story was the Democratic National Convention that is about to get underway in Boston. Go Kerry!

But right above the story was a HUGE boxed graphic headline REMEMBERING RONALD REAGAN!!!

At first I thought it was a banner-ad, placed there by the deep pockets of the ever more organized crazies on the right. But it wasn't an ad, it was CNN's own content. Then I had to wonder if FOX had bought out CNN.

When I returned from breakfast the graphic was gone, replaced by one touting the coverage of the convention. Suspicious...

So, was it a 'vast right-winged conspiracy' that put the first ad there? Or was it a fanatic and hopefully now fired conservative web editor? Hackers? Who knows.

What I do know is I'm not taking any chances. I'm checking my own website everyday from now on in case they decide to disfigure bumbercars.com in a similar manner. I'd hate for my 6 viewers to see an errant Ronald Reagan ad. Grrr...

i've got a leg to stand on

For about a week my left leg was like a balloon. A red balloon full of fire. It had gotten infected by god-knows-what last week after being bitten by a spider. I couldn't walk. Couldn't run. Couldn't stand without lots of grunting and gnashing of teeth.

That was then, this is now. Thanks to anti-biotics, lots of ice, about 17 rented videos, 36 grapes, 12 diet pepsis, 40 liters of water and one nectarine. I'm on the mend. I can walk. I can walk. I can walk.

So listen up kiddies. If you are still blessed with the power of mobility, if you can still groove that groove thang' and if you can "walk this way" then you have NO problems. Someone once said if the solution to a problem is money, then you don't have a problem. Amen to that.

Here's to your health (and mine)...